The Christmas Holidays have looked a little different over the last couple of years. A bit because of cancer and a lot because of the covid pandemic. This year I have found it really different…. I have had to learn to let go of a lot and go with the flow.
I love to think I’m a pretty casual person , my kids would probably disagree but whatever. My thing is I love to do things, I want to experience life. Wether it be going to the beach and getting my feet wet to hanging out at a local cafe drinking my favourite dirty chai. I want to walk past people and say hi, sit in the park and watch my kids make random friends, drive places we have never been.
They don’t want to…not all the time anyway.
They want to hang out with their friends, they want to go out without me (yep, even Brad)and they are three of the biggest homebodies you’ve ever met. Like, I actually just bribed Summer (10 years old) to come to a see a band with me if the tour goes ahead. So I’m pivoting …and learning to let go .
I know restrictions have a lot to do with this as well as my own current restrictions so I’ll work with what I can.
We have over as many people as we can, I always wanted to have the house that people come too and I feel like we are doing that here, I want people to feel comfortable and have those nights where you laugh so hard your face hurts, where kids run around and feel like anything is possible, where the next morning is full of coffee and fabulous conversation.
I am learning to respect boundaries (apparently I needed to !) my kids are all getting older and are there own people … to a certain extent. I have always been a helicopter parent. I’m learning to pick my battles, that it is ok if they say they don’t want to participate in something. I also have to promote their independence… wether I like it or not there is a huge possibility I won’t be around at some stage and I need them to know how to function as humans. Sometimes questionable humans but humans nonetheless.
Learning to let go can cover so many areas in life. Friends, family, careers , life in general. The last two years have been so different for all of us. The introduction of covid changed so many aspects of daily life….wether we wanted it to or not. Cancer added a different element to mine. I have had to learn to let go of a lot…things I thought I could do that I now have to do differently, I embrace what I can, love harder, laugh far more, accept help (which I hate doing and I’m still learning with this one!) , surround myself with as many good people as I can and I don’t take offence or get too upset about those that can’t deal with it…. this situation isn’t for everyone.
I also have done some work with my Reiki healer. She’s my reiki healer/friend/spiritual advisor and she is magnificent. Irene has helped me set boundaries, recognise emotions like guilt and release them because ain’t no-one got time for that! She has also helped me realise that its ok for me to do my own thing and not apologise for it .To make plans for the future, without overthinking the possibilities. To be excited about this new chapter .
The reality is , more often than not, I still wake up with the little dude in my bed. The teenager is still my nighttime tv companion and Summer is my early morning sidekick. I have just learnt to go with the ebbs and flows of my particular life, my parenting , and this Summer was much easier now I am learning to let go of what I thought it should be and embrace what is …..in all its glorious chaos.