So what music do you want at your funeral?

To her it probably seems like a fairly innocent question. After all once your a teenager don’t you question everything…… especially your parents. I guess to me it just seemed a little, direct due to my whole cancer situation. I did what you do as a parent.. I had to roll with it.

The Doors, The Chainsmokers and a few others I replied. Chloe laughed…… apparently my playlist will be judged …even in death. I have raised my children to question, inquire, talk about the uncomfortable …otherwise how else do you grow as a person or as a family ? That literally just came back to bite me.

I didn’t know if she was asking because she feared I was going to die, was this a cry for help, did I need to take her to a psychologist, did she know something I didn’t ? All these questions were running through my head why I tried really casually to drop my daughter at her friends place and not grab her and go ‘ What the fuck is going on????’.

Turns out it was just a question……

I guess even though I have bred free thinkers sometimes a question is just a question. I haven’t kept anything about my treatment secret and at the moment I’m lucky that it hasn’t impacted too much on their lives. We have always been open to talking about religion, sexuality, drugs, etc ….I always wanted them too know that they can ask and I’ll answer as truthfully as I can. I guess death is just another part of that.

I assured her that I will create a suitably inappropriate playlist should the time come. Something I will be judged on for years to come. Cremate me and put me in the ocean and I’ll be happy. She was happy with that . Weird moment #678 had passed.

Being up front and open about things is hard. I can completely see why some people keep a cancer diagnosis from their kids. Chloe likes to know exactly what’s going and the worst case scenario, Summer forgets so I have to go through the whole thing with her every fortnight, Brad is just flat out trying to wear clothes really. Why we have done it like this is, whatever happens, they will know and have a story to tell. I’m also a terrible liar so we have to cover that too.

Have a good one xx

Saturday night favourites

I can’t stop listening to this song….

Spent the weekend wandering around here with the Mr and really appreciating our beautiful city.

Can’t wait to show the kids this amazing musical.

Loved on this blog and oh my look at the store ( may have bought some earrings!)

Cant get enough of this show …….the writing and the cowboys.

This book is so brilliant I am reading it for the second time.

Have a fabulous weekend doing what makes you happy x

Onwards and upwards….

Two months ago I went to a get a mammogram on a breast lump…within twenty minutes, using my Greys Anatomy acquired medical education, I was pretty sure I had breast cancer. Within two hours I had received a biopsy, blood test , CT scan. All of those things involved me being rushed through. I had prime position. Even I knew enough to know the prime position is not a great thing to have at this point. That was a Tuesday… our 15 year anniversary.

A whole bunch of stuff happened between then and now. Lots of appointments , talking, researching, emailing…. tears, breakdowns, laughs, drinks, plans….. and so so much more. . Now , two weeks after turning 41 I’m here with metastatic breast cancer with mets in my lymph nodes and lungs…..according to my doctors I am incurable but manageable ……..according to me I just need to cure myself. Not exactly what I thought I’d be dealing with in 2020 but this year is turning out fairly differently for most of us.

Over the last eight weeks I have posted about it all. Both on my instagram and facebook so you can go back to the beginning. Being able to deal with this creatively …. through writing, photography, creating a blog to house everything….. helps keeps my head straight. It means I can keep track of treatments, diagnosis and life in general.

So fast forward to last Friday, May 29. After two months of taking Tamoxifen and Zoladex , using a variety of natural therapies, praying, meditating, sitting in hot saunas and swimming in cold pools and enough blood tests to make me look like I had an active recreational drug problem my cancer has shrunk. Ever so slightly but it has shrunk. All tumours are showing a reduction in size.

Happy is an understatement.

Stoked is a better word.

I feel like I have a head start now. A chance to get out in front of it…….

Since I started working with Doterra I have heard the phrase ‘onward and upward’ a million times. People always said it when the month didn’t work out as planned, when rank didn’t happen and classes worked out differently. I didn’t really get what it meant. Now I do. I get that I had a minute to breathe, now it’s time to get on with it, keep moving, keep out in front. Onward and upward.

There is a new medication protocol….. letrazole and then in two weeks I start another medication which is a tablet chemotherapy. I will try that for a couple of months and see how my body reacts. My oncologist is really supportive of me keeping tip with all the natural therapies I’m doing so they will all stay. I will change up a few things, that I will detail in another post. Once I see how I react to the meds as I’ll probably need to increase my strength training and do a few other thing! Then we jut see how it goes.

Why Doterra ?

I originally joined Doterra as a customer. I didn’t attend a class or meet anyone. I joined because of what I had researched and found out about the company and it’s products. I spent a few months looking into all of the oils, supplements and skin care. I watched interviews and videos with the founders and management team of Doterra. I looked into people I knew and people I had just heard about that were using these products. It all came down to this….

Doterra are EXACTLY who they say there are …. the products do EXACTLY what they are meant too. Everything is done with the upmost ethics.

Doterra was founded in 2008 with a commitment to creating solid patterns of giving and service., There are no outside investors, the founders personally funded the start up and own 100% of the company – even over ten years later. They took second mortgages, scaled back and worked without pay, walked when they couldn’t afford petrol….. all to own their own work and make their own choices. doTERRA is now the worlds largest essential oil company in the world and it is debt free. This is a great introduction to one of doTERRAs founders, Emily Wright.

doTERRA is all about family, not just the one you make but the one you choose, it is also about empowerment. Mums, babies, twenty somethings, older people, men, women…everyone is welcome. Everyone is supported . You can not come into contact with doTERRA and not be positively affected by the strength, joy end empowerment that they share. I know that I could not have even faced my business or my current cancer journey without the tools that doTERRA has given me.

doTERRa oils are the highest quality oils on the market. You get what you pay for and with doTERRA you get the best. You can check the validity of each and every oil by going to Source to You a website that shows you all the detailed information on sourcing, quality and testing of our oils……worldwide.

I could write pages on the ethical sustainability of Doterra , how from beginning to end the farmers, communities that create the oils are supported , the people that bottle and send out the oils are supported then the advocates (like me) that sell the products are supported. You just need to type Doterra into you tube and you will see so many life changing examples of what this company does.

I have always believed in the greater good. Doterra is the that and so much more.